i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
