dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She's the barista slut.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
