Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
