I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
