Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
