I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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