I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
