My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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