She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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