Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
