hotel room ftw
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
She bit a glass in half.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
