Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
