susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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