i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
