at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Bring me that man meat
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
