But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
