Where did you get a picture of my penis
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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