Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
