Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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