my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
