Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
