i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
