my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
