yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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