We won't sleep together?
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
