it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
