Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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