im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize