I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
