Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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