Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
