# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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