I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
