I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
