Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wash the frat house off of me
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize