That's when you crack a 10am beer
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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