dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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