I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I think people are normalizing furries
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
