I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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