The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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