My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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