Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
