I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
