And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
