Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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