yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
