just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
