I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
