im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
