she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
