it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
