his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
