she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize