...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
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I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
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We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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