hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
