I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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