Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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