i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
